This blog was called The Juggling Act for a reason, because as a working Mom, you really have to find a way to have balance in your life in order to have a successful career, a good marriage and well-adjusted children. I'm not saying I do it right, matter a fact, I question whether I'm succeeding most of the time. What I've learned is that too much of a good thing, is never good.
I do have a successful career and I can honestly say, I love my job. Part of my job is community involvement and I have several organizations that I am actively involved with which adds time away from the home to my calendar. If you're not careful, the events and meetings you have to go to can get out of control and the next thing you know you have lost your balance.
Here's what I mean. . .in order to be good at my job, I have to feel like I'm a good mother, in order to be a good mother, I need to feel like I'm doing good at my job. Get it, probably not, I don't always get it. When I let my job consume my time, it takes away from my children and then I start to not feel good about myself and then nothing works right. At that point, I'm not the best I can be. If I'm not careful, I can spend so much time doing family stuff that my time away from the office causes my work to suffer. The unfortunate reality is that most of the time, it's our family that suffers not our work. This is usually my case.
A few months ago, I had been super busy with evening meetings and early meetings, basically meetings that crept into family time. I just let it get out of control. I was home with Aiden one day and totally exhausted. My son said to me, "mama, why don't you smile anymore?" My heart instantly broke and I knew something had to give. I wasn't in a bad mood. I was just exhausted and I realized my family was getting the leftover parts of me. I took a hard long look at my calendar, prioritizing and even checking my motivation. First, was it important that I be there or could someone else attend in my place. I didn't have to do everything. Second, was I going to these meetings because it was important to my work or because I love to socialize and I didn't want to miss out on anything.
I feel like I have finally found my groove and you can not image how much better I feel about everything. I have a sense of peace. I can't be success at work, when I feel my children are missing out. I still love my job and still want a successful career but when I don't feel like I'm being the best possible Mom, there's no way I can concentrate enough to be the best manager. Hence, balance. I know how hard it is to say, "no I can't make it tonight" or "can I send someone else?" but I also know how hard it is to live with the guilt of telling a little one you won't see them before bedtime again. I chose balance because even good things in excess aren't good. To much cake can be bad, to much food can be bad, and too much time away from family is really bad. I think I could write a whole other blog on this topic. This is what I think God meant when he said we must keep the Sabbath.
Monday, July 30, 2012
Thursday, July 26, 2012
My Babies Aren't Babies Anymore
As you already know the boys were visiting family this past week. I took this opportunity to do some organizing and cleaning of their room and their toys. It's really hard to throw toys away when their around so I decided to avoid the drama and do it when they were gone. Little did I know, I would have my own internal drama.
I started with the stuffed animals. . .we had tons of them. A whole corner in their bedroom was dedicated to stuffed animals that never get touched. Actually, Noah's the one who sleeps with stuffed animals, Aiden does very seldom. We have our Rudolph from Christmas, our Woody doll and Bob and Larry from Veggietales, these are the friends that sleep with Noah and he used to sleep with a small soft blue blanket. I kept looking at that corner of stuffed animals piles high and thought, "it's time to get rid of some these."
Little did I know how hard it was going to be to pick out the age appropriate dolls to keep and the ones to giveaway. I knew I needed to give away the "baby" stuffed animals but my heart broke because this meant my boys weren't considered "babies" anymore. I even picked up the blanket at one point and held it to my face almost in tears. . .big mistake, little boys leave funny odors.
I know each phase of your children's lives come with it's own rewards, therefore, my mind knows that the next phase is going to be special but my heart sometimes has a hard time letting go. I did the right thing, I gave away the stuffed animals that were meant for infants, however, I did keep a few that I knew were special to them. I put them away in my storage box to give to them someday and of course, I washed the little blue blanket and kept it. When they returned home, as expected, they never noticed the missing stuffed animals. I suppose we can't get cluttered down with what we don't need, we need to make room for the new blessings God will give us.
I started with the stuffed animals. . .we had tons of them. A whole corner in their bedroom was dedicated to stuffed animals that never get touched. Actually, Noah's the one who sleeps with stuffed animals, Aiden does very seldom. We have our Rudolph from Christmas, our Woody doll and Bob and Larry from Veggietales, these are the friends that sleep with Noah and he used to sleep with a small soft blue blanket. I kept looking at that corner of stuffed animals piles high and thought, "it's time to get rid of some these."
Little did I know how hard it was going to be to pick out the age appropriate dolls to keep and the ones to giveaway. I knew I needed to give away the "baby" stuffed animals but my heart broke because this meant my boys weren't considered "babies" anymore. I even picked up the blanket at one point and held it to my face almost in tears. . .big mistake, little boys leave funny odors.
I know each phase of your children's lives come with it's own rewards, therefore, my mind knows that the next phase is going to be special but my heart sometimes has a hard time letting go. I did the right thing, I gave away the stuffed animals that were meant for infants, however, I did keep a few that I knew were special to them. I put them away in my storage box to give to them someday and of course, I washed the little blue blanket and kept it. When they returned home, as expected, they never noticed the missing stuffed animals. I suppose we can't get cluttered down with what we don't need, we need to make room for the new blessings God will give us.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Reunited At Last
On my last blog I wrote about how the boys were going to visit family in Arkansas. What I left out was how terribily my husband and I missed these little fellas. Boy, was our house quiet. It was terrible.
Steve and both felt like it was Christmas on Monday because it was the day we were picking them back up. My sister-in-law was meeting me half way. This was honestly, the most excited I have been about anything in a long time. I couldn't get there soon enough.
When I finally got to them, it was all I'd hoped it would be . . . those sweet boys came running in to my arms and Aiden wouldn't let go, while Noah was smiling ear to ear kept telling me how much he loved me and how happy he was. Music to a mama's ears.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Mama's Boy
Aiden is growing up and that is really hard on me. I'm really have a tough time letting go. I know, he's only six, so your thinking, "what do you have to let go of?" It's him being a Mama's boy! I love being the center of his world. . .I need it! You see, when he was a Mama's boy, I knew I was doing something right.
I work a lot. If I'm not careful it's easy to look up one day and realize I have not spent enough with my kids or they got the "left-over" parts of me, when I was tired and run down. So, when your six year old starts transforming from a Mama's boy to a Daddy's boy, I can't help but wonder was it my fault. Did I not give him enough time, did I not play enough, was I gone to much etc.? You know the drill, how we Moms can blame ourselves for every little thing I children do. My mind knows that he is growing up and doesn't need the nuturing a Mama gives, but my heart still longs for my little boy who couldn't get through a day without cuddling up in my arms.
Reality is he has to grow up and when he's going through the next phase it will also feel bitter sweet. In the meantime, I am going to do all I can to be intentional about our time together. I don't want to look up and have missed one precious moment with this little guy. No matter how big, Aiden will always be my baby.
I work a lot. If I'm not careful it's easy to look up one day and realize I have not spent enough with my kids or they got the "left-over" parts of me, when I was tired and run down. So, when your six year old starts transforming from a Mama's boy to a Daddy's boy, I can't help but wonder was it my fault. Did I not give him enough time, did I not play enough, was I gone to much etc.? You know the drill, how we Moms can blame ourselves for every little thing I children do. My mind knows that he is growing up and doesn't need the nuturing a Mama gives, but my heart still longs for my little boy who couldn't get through a day without cuddling up in my arms.
Reality is he has to grow up and when he's going through the next phase it will also feel bitter sweet. In the meantime, I am going to do all I can to be intentional about our time together. I don't want to look up and have missed one precious moment with this little guy. No matter how big, Aiden will always be my baby.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Boo Hoo!
It's been awhile since I've posted and I apologize. That's part of the juggling act. . . having time to do it all.
This week both boys are in Arkansas visiting family. You'd think we'd be busy eating dinner out, going to the movies, relaxing but the truth is, boy, is it quiet around the house without them. When their here it's mama, mama, mama, mama, sometimes I wish my name wasn't mama. This week, I can't wait to here, mama.
I asked Steve, "what did we do before we had children". Truth is, I can't imagine our lives before these sweet boys. I can't imagine we ever had this quiet a life and didn't get bored out of our minds.
Visiting family is good for them and for us. It truely makes us appreciate what we normally call chaos.
This week both boys are in Arkansas visiting family. You'd think we'd be busy eating dinner out, going to the movies, relaxing but the truth is, boy, is it quiet around the house without them. When their here it's mama, mama, mama, mama, sometimes I wish my name wasn't mama. This week, I can't wait to here, mama.
I asked Steve, "what did we do before we had children". Truth is, I can't imagine our lives before these sweet boys. I can't imagine we ever had this quiet a life and didn't get bored out of our minds.
Visiting family is good for them and for us. It truely makes us appreciate what we normally call chaos.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
God Is Bigger Than the Boogie Man
Any working Mom knows that if you're not careful morning can stress out your whole day. Sometimes the tone of your day is set by the mood of your kids and consequently, the mood of your kids are set by your mood.
With that being said, there is not way your morning can start off stressful when all you hear is a three year old singing at the top of his lungs. Attached is a video of Noah's latest performance. He is obsessed with the Veggietales video "When Your Scared," and this is one of the songs from it.
Enjoy! I hope you get a chuckle out of it as well.
With that being said, there is not way your morning can start off stressful when all you hear is a three year old singing at the top of his lungs. Attached is a video of Noah's latest performance. He is obsessed with the Veggietales video "When Your Scared," and this is one of the songs from it.
Enjoy! I hope you get a chuckle out of it as well.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Update on 5K Training
Aiden is still my inspiration, in many ways, but he is still inspiring me to get in shape and train for this 5K Run for Costa Rica in April. We have been running three to four times a week and I can finally feel my body thinking, "I can do this."
Originally, I was under the impression that Aiden also needed to get in shape, after all, he doesn't run much, does he? I have since discovered that by the nature of things his six year old body is already in much better shape than my forty one year old body. When were running, I'll be winded and Aiden is still singing, jumping around, just all over the place. I don't think I've seen him get winded once. Maybe this training thing is really for me.
One hurdle Aiden did have to over come was, new shoes. One day when we were running, he kept lagging behind. When I was pushing him to catch up he said he couldn't because his feet hurt. Why it never dawned on me that his Spiderman, blinky shoes were not good running shoes is beyond me. We've since fixed the problem and he's back to his speedy self.
We have three weeks left to prepare for this 5K. I have really enjoyed this experience with Aiden and hope that 5K's can kind of become our thing.
Originally, I was under the impression that Aiden also needed to get in shape, after all, he doesn't run much, does he? I have since discovered that by the nature of things his six year old body is already in much better shape than my forty one year old body. When were running, I'll be winded and Aiden is still singing, jumping around, just all over the place. I don't think I've seen him get winded once. Maybe this training thing is really for me.
One hurdle Aiden did have to over come was, new shoes. One day when we were running, he kept lagging behind. When I was pushing him to catch up he said he couldn't because his feet hurt. Why it never dawned on me that his Spiderman, blinky shoes were not good running shoes is beyond me. We've since fixed the problem and he's back to his speedy self.
We have three weeks left to prepare for this 5K. I have really enjoyed this experience with Aiden and hope that 5K's can kind of become our thing.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
5K Here We Come; Day Two
Today was day two of Aiden and my 5K training. Wow, talk about juggling act. When you make a promise to your child, you WILL make it happen. I had such a busy day today at work but the thought of not doing what I promised Aiden I'd do, motivated me, so we ran. . .in the dark. Yes, it was dark and we ran but I'm so glad we did.
Aiden is very excited about this. He has his mind set on running the "Costa Rica Run for the Children" on April 7th. I haven't seen him so excited about anything in awhile and I love it! He ran and he ran and he ran. . .however, my sweet Aiden did have trouble focusing on running. That sweet boy, focus is not something that I would use to describe him. He kept getting distracted by the curb on the street. He found himself wanting to jump on and off it. All I can say is. . .I love him!
We ran one mile today. Not a 5K or a marathon but an awesome beginning. Aiden has decided that he needs new pair of running shoes. I suppose that will make him an official runner.
Aiden is very excited about this. He has his mind set on running the "Costa Rica Run for the Children" on April 7th. I haven't seen him so excited about anything in awhile and I love it! He ran and he ran and he ran. . .however, my sweet Aiden did have trouble focusing on running. That sweet boy, focus is not something that I would use to describe him. He kept getting distracted by the curb on the street. He found himself wanting to jump on and off it. All I can say is. . .I love him!
We ran one mile today. Not a 5K or a marathon but an awesome beginning. Aiden has decided that he needs new pair of running shoes. I suppose that will make him an official runner.
Monday, March 5, 2012
Accountablility From A Five Year Old
I have really been working hard this year to eat right and get in shape. One thing I have wanted to do but just can't push myself enough to accomplish is, run. Well, what better motivation that a five year old.
Aiden has decided he wants to run a 5K. He's even picked one. He saw the sign up table at church yesterday and reminded me that we were suppose to run in a 5K together. It's April 7th and is Costa Rica Run for the Children. The link is attached if anyone wants to join us. This gives us about 4 weeks to get prepared so we better get with it.
I know we will do this because I have Aiden for accountability. How can a five year old hold an adult accountable. Easy, when you make a promise to your child, you have to come through. So last night I told him we would have to get up at 5:30 a.m. to start our training. Of course, this morning I really wanted to sleep but the idea that he would be disappointed, not in the fact that we didn't run but that I told him something and didn't do it, I got up. Aiden jumped right up as well. I was impressed.
Boy, was it cold. A whopping 34 degrees. I mentioned this on the way out the door but Aiden didn't seem to mind. He was very excited. We drove to Sango, the only safe place I could think of. To be honest, we didn't run to far today, only about a quarter a mile. It was really really cold. Half way through our run Aiden said, "I'm freezing up." I knew it was time to go back.
We ate breakfast and I intentionally picked out next date to run, tomorrow afternoon. I did this because I know that my desire to not break promised to my child will motivate me to actually do it. I am looking forward to the many benefits for doing this run with Aiden. We will get to spend time together, hopefully we'll get to grow together as we celebrate our crossing the finish line together, and I get to delight and watching my son excited about his accomplishment.
Aiden has decided he wants to run a 5K. He's even picked one. He saw the sign up table at church yesterday and reminded me that we were suppose to run in a 5K together. It's April 7th and is Costa Rica Run for the Children. The link is attached if anyone wants to join us. This gives us about 4 weeks to get prepared so we better get with it.
I know we will do this because I have Aiden for accountability. How can a five year old hold an adult accountable. Easy, when you make a promise to your child, you have to come through. So last night I told him we would have to get up at 5:30 a.m. to start our training. Of course, this morning I really wanted to sleep but the idea that he would be disappointed, not in the fact that we didn't run but that I told him something and didn't do it, I got up. Aiden jumped right up as well. I was impressed.
Boy, was it cold. A whopping 34 degrees. I mentioned this on the way out the door but Aiden didn't seem to mind. He was very excited. We drove to Sango, the only safe place I could think of. To be honest, we didn't run to far today, only about a quarter a mile. It was really really cold. Half way through our run Aiden said, "I'm freezing up." I knew it was time to go back.
We ate breakfast and I intentionally picked out next date to run, tomorrow afternoon. I did this because I know that my desire to not break promised to my child will motivate me to actually do it. I am looking forward to the many benefits for doing this run with Aiden. We will get to spend time together, hopefully we'll get to grow together as we celebrate our crossing the finish line together, and I get to delight and watching my son excited about his accomplishment.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Eye Spy
Some of my greatest lessons on faith have come from my children. They amaze me with their humble and accepting faith. In Matthew 18; 3-4, Jesus speaks of the faith of a child. He says that, "anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven."
Each night, before bed time, we say our prayers together as a family. Noah, our little General, likes to control whose turn it is. Last night, when it was Noah's turn, his prayer was simply, "Jesus, ya wanna play Eye Spy?" Cute, huh? Eye spy is a big deal to Noah and Aiden right now. Our trips are consumed with whose turn it is, to pick what color, so this genuine request to Jesus got me thinking about my relationship with Jesus.
Here are a few things that we can all learn from Noah's simple request.
1. Noah knows Jesus is real. He is as real to Noah as Steve and I are. To him he's just someone else Noah spends his day with and plays games with.
2. Whatever is important in Noah's life right now, and Eye Spy is important, it is also important to Jesus. He knew that Jesus would be interested in playing with him. Our needs don't have to be huge. Jesus cares about them all.
3. That Jesus was right there next to Noah. He's always there, even when we aren't paying attention. Noah didn't have to go seek him out to ask, he just asked.
4. That a relationship with him isn't about doing or following rules, it's about loving him and simply enjoying being in his presence. Noah must have a comfortable relationship with him because he would never ask a stranger to play Eye Spy.
5. That Jesus wants us to let him share in all of our life, not just the hard parts, when we are fully aware that we can't handle things on our own, but he wants to share in the things that bring us pleasure, even a simple game of Eye Spy. He also wants us to take pleasure in him.
5. That Jesus can reveal himself to us even in the simpliest ways, so keep your heart open.
When we play Eye Spy, Steve and I always laugh when it's Noah's turn because he likes to control the game. Not only does he spy a color but he also will give the answer before anyone has a chance to guess. I wonder if he tried to control the game with Jesus? The one thing I know for sure is that Jesus answered him, "yes, I want to play Eye Spy with you." Jesus, wants a relationship with all of us, he wants to share our good, our bad, and our fun. If it's important to us, it's important to him.
Each night, before bed time, we say our prayers together as a family. Noah, our little General, likes to control whose turn it is. Last night, when it was Noah's turn, his prayer was simply, "Jesus, ya wanna play Eye Spy?" Cute, huh? Eye spy is a big deal to Noah and Aiden right now. Our trips are consumed with whose turn it is, to pick what color, so this genuine request to Jesus got me thinking about my relationship with Jesus.
Here are a few things that we can all learn from Noah's simple request.
1. Noah knows Jesus is real. He is as real to Noah as Steve and I are. To him he's just someone else Noah spends his day with and plays games with.
2. Whatever is important in Noah's life right now, and Eye Spy is important, it is also important to Jesus. He knew that Jesus would be interested in playing with him. Our needs don't have to be huge. Jesus cares about them all.
3. That Jesus was right there next to Noah. He's always there, even when we aren't paying attention. Noah didn't have to go seek him out to ask, he just asked.
4. That a relationship with him isn't about doing or following rules, it's about loving him and simply enjoying being in his presence. Noah must have a comfortable relationship with him because he would never ask a stranger to play Eye Spy.
5. That Jesus wants us to let him share in all of our life, not just the hard parts, when we are fully aware that we can't handle things on our own, but he wants to share in the things that bring us pleasure, even a simple game of Eye Spy. He also wants us to take pleasure in him.
5. That Jesus can reveal himself to us even in the simpliest ways, so keep your heart open.
When we play Eye Spy, Steve and I always laugh when it's Noah's turn because he likes to control the game. Not only does he spy a color but he also will give the answer before anyone has a chance to guess. I wonder if he tried to control the game with Jesus? The one thing I know for sure is that Jesus answered him, "yes, I want to play Eye Spy with you." Jesus, wants a relationship with all of us, he wants to share our good, our bad, and our fun. If it's important to us, it's important to him.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Little Ears
I am quite comfortable with who I am. I'm also quite familiar with all my flaws that constantly need work. One of them is being overly direct. You see, I never thought I was direct until people started using that word to describe me. This weekend, I had to do some back peddling because my directness affected my son, Aiden.
We were at a salon getting his hair cut when the young lady turned him around and said, "he has a gap in the front of his hair, what should I do with it?" I knew he didn't have that gap when we came in so, I asked Aiden, "have you cut your own hair?", knowing full well he didn't. I told her to blend it the best she could. Oh boy, she cut his bangs completely off! This is when I went into "no filter mode". I told her to stop because she was making it worse, she would not be touching his hair anymore, and to get someone over to fix it. Oh boy! I was right to stop her. . . it really was that bad, but poor little Aiden was now left feeling like his hair looked bad. I could see it all over his face and it broke my heart.
I went into damage control. Once it was fixed, I told him how handsome it looked and that in a couple weeks, it would grow out. It was this morning when I realized he was okay with it. He styled it differently and was very proud of the new style.
Lesson learned, I have to be more conscientious of little ears. Sometimes being direct is good, sometimes a gentler approach is necessary. God is always working on me and what better way to prove a point than with these sweet boys.
By the way. . .he is still a very handsome little fella!
We were at a salon getting his hair cut when the young lady turned him around and said, "he has a gap in the front of his hair, what should I do with it?" I knew he didn't have that gap when we came in so, I asked Aiden, "have you cut your own hair?", knowing full well he didn't. I told her to blend it the best she could. Oh boy, she cut his bangs completely off! This is when I went into "no filter mode". I told her to stop because she was making it worse, she would not be touching his hair anymore, and to get someone over to fix it. Oh boy! I was right to stop her. . . it really was that bad, but poor little Aiden was now left feeling like his hair looked bad. I could see it all over his face and it broke my heart.
I went into damage control. Once it was fixed, I told him how handsome it looked and that in a couple weeks, it would grow out. It was this morning when I realized he was okay with it. He styled it differently and was very proud of the new style.
Lesson learned, I have to be more conscientious of little ears. Sometimes being direct is good, sometimes a gentler approach is necessary. God is always working on me and what better way to prove a point than with these sweet boys.
By the way. . .he is still a very handsome little fella!
Monday, January 30, 2012
Learning The Bible
Don't you love it when you see you child excited about learning new things? Last night, I got to enjoy watching Aiden excited about learning the Bible. We started a nightly devotional book called, "Jesus Calling for Kids" by Sarah Young and Aiden is truly enjoying it.
I don't know how much he actually gets from the devotionals themselves, but he is excited about looking up the bible verses attached, which is a blessing itself. I taught him how to use the contents in the front, how to recognize the chapter and verse numbers, and even that Psalms is in the middle of the Bible. When we found the verse we were looking up, he would read it the best he could. How sweet it was and how proud I was to see our child excited about the Bible. At one point he even exclaimed, "this is really fun."
I'm not sure exactly when I learned the most basic things about the Bible, it was always a part of what I did, but I know somehow, I learned. I do remember learning a song in Vacation Bible School about how to remember the New Testament. I still can remember it today. My prayer for Aiden is that he will always get the same joy and excited from ready scripture and he will always think it is "really fun."
http://www.amazon.com/Jesus-Calling-365-Devotions-Kids/dp/1400316340/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1327944254&sr=8-1
I don't know how much he actually gets from the devotionals themselves, but he is excited about looking up the bible verses attached, which is a blessing itself. I taught him how to use the contents in the front, how to recognize the chapter and verse numbers, and even that Psalms is in the middle of the Bible. When we found the verse we were looking up, he would read it the best he could. How sweet it was and how proud I was to see our child excited about the Bible. At one point he even exclaimed, "this is really fun."
I'm not sure exactly when I learned the most basic things about the Bible, it was always a part of what I did, but I know somehow, I learned. I do remember learning a song in Vacation Bible School about how to remember the New Testament. I still can remember it today. My prayer for Aiden is that he will always get the same joy and excited from ready scripture and he will always think it is "really fun."
http://www.amazon.com/Jesus-Calling-365-Devotions-Kids/dp/1400316340/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1327944254&sr=8-1
Monday, January 23, 2012
Silver Lining
Even in moments that may seem stressful, you can find the silver lining or cloud in our case. . .literally. Last night, we had pretty severe thunderstorms. Noah woke up crying because he is scared of thunder and Aiden doesn't know the difference in a Tornado Warning and a real Tornado, so he was scared also. Needless, to say I ended up with both boys bed with me and we were up for a little bit, until the storms calmed.
Yes, I am tired today and yes, I really really wanted to sleep last night but I wouldn't trade those moments for anything simply because I take comfort in the fact that our boys came to us when they were scared and wanted comforting. They knew they could depend on us to take care of them. It's in these moments of craziness, that I can look at their sweet faces and realize that we must be doing something right. I can only hope that when they're adults they will know that they can still come to us when they're scared and we'll still hold them tight.
Yes, I am tired today and yes, I really really wanted to sleep last night but I wouldn't trade those moments for anything simply because I take comfort in the fact that our boys came to us when they were scared and wanted comforting. They knew they could depend on us to take care of them. It's in these moments of craziness, that I can look at their sweet faces and realize that we must be doing something right. I can only hope that when they're adults they will know that they can still come to us when they're scared and we'll still hold them tight.
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